Apr 3, 2017

Monday Meme: Priorities: Marriage or Children?

God, family, everything else.  Those are the priorities my parents taught me.  The list is streamlined, but it is not so clear.  Look at the second priority:  family.  Spouse and children, but does one come first?

I am blessed with a loving husband and five healthy, robust sons.  Our daily activities were quickly filled, but we were determined to keep our relationship going.  We never let a day go by without saying, “I love you.”  Sometimes it was just a whisper at midnight, but we said it.

Within one particular year, our youngest three boys were diagnosed with autism, with typical symptoms of nonverbal, self-abusive, tactile and sensory issues.  Obviously, my younger kids required A LOT of attention.  I was a self-employed, stay-at-home mom who faced unsurmountable challenges daily.

My husband worked 10-12 hours frequently.  At times, I felt alone.  However, when he came through the door, he’d pick up the pieces of whatever I couldn’t do.  If it was dinner or laundry, he finished it.  Quite often, he simply gave me a hug. We then did what needed to be done. We ended each day with “I love you.”

Although our lives were crazy with therapies and doctors, my husband and I recognized our relationship first.  By our example, we knew we were teaching our boys about love, marriage, and sacrifice.

We’ve all heard that about 50% of marriages end in divorce, but that rate skyrockets to over 90% when the couple has a child with special needs.

The relationship between spouses can never be secondary.  Just like fruit of the tree is the result of a healthy tree.  When the tree is not watered, the fruit will shrivel up. A good or bad marriage effects children in a similar way.  Children learn what they see and hear.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post, Sheryl! It sounds like you and your husband have really learned to work together as a team. Do you have any suggestions for women whose husbands are not necessarily team oriented or responsive to their wives' desire to have a better marriage?


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