Marriage Discernment Questionnaire
Not long ago one of our daughters asked for a list of marriage discernment questions that she and her boyfriend could use as a springboard for further discussion. Her mom turned to our large group of Catholic homeschooling mamas for ideas, resulting in the following questionnaire.
- What do you love about him or her?
- What do you think defines a good wife? husband?
- What do you think defines a good mother? father?
- How do you handle poop on your hands? Vomit? Urine? Blood?
- What would you do if your favorite show was on, but his (or hers) was on at the same time?
- Do you like to do puzzles?
- Do you prefer fast food or home cooked?
- What's the purpose of marriage?
- What do you like to do in your free time?
- Does you drink? smoke?
- How do you handle stress?
- Are you a yell-er?
- Is he do as I say or do as I do?
- Do you like surprises? Spontaneity?
- How would you handle a catastrophe?
- What would you do if the other cheated?
- What would you do if you grew to have irreconcilable differences?
- Do you want children?
- If yes, how many?
- Is a tight budget a reason to avoid pregnancy?
- What if one of you is infertile?
- Where will babies be born...at a hospital, a birthing center, or at home?
- How do you plan to educate your children...public school, private school, homeschool?
- How would he handle having a terminally sick child? or the death of a child?
- How would you approach the disciplining of children?
- How do you feel about breastfeeding babies?
- Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding?
- Where do you want to be married? And by whom?
- Are there any family expectations concerning the wedding?
- Where would you spend holidays?
- What are your favorite family traditions?
- What if a parent needed a place to live?
- What is your family like?
- Are you close to parents and siblings?
- Does you like to spend time with your family?
- How do you feel about household chores?
- Are you handy around the house?
- If you start a project, will you finish?
- Can you live with things in disarray indefinitely?
- What is your threshold for clutter? dishes piled in the sink? laundry piles?
- What's your reaction to an overdue bill?
- Do you have a savings account? investments? life insurance?
- Who do you think should be the breadwinner?
- How do you manage money?
- What are your financial goals and plans for retirement? kids' education?
- Do you have and stick to a budget?
- Would you rent or buy your home?
- Would you rather live in city, town, or on the farm?
- Would you move to a job or find a job where you want to live?
- How do you feel about mom not working outside the home?
- Are vacations important to you?
- How do you handle car and appliance breakdowns?
- Are you a saver or a spender?
- Do you have an emergency fund?
- Do you have credit cards? carry a balance?
- What is your faith background?
- Do you believe that the Church has authority over marriage?
- Do you pray together?
- Does you attend Sunday Mass? daily Mass? Adoration? Confession?
- Who is your patron saint?
- Get the saints involved...the St Therese Novena is a favorite.
- Learn about the five love languages.
- Learn about the different personality types.
- Make a list of qualities that you look for in spouse.
**If you have any other ideas for questions...add them to the comments below!