Marriage Discernment Questionnaire

Marriage Discernment Questionnaire

Not long ago one of our daughters asked for a list of marriage discernment questions that she and her boyfriend could use as a springboard for further discussion. Her mom turned to our large group of Catholic homeschooling mamas for ideas, resulting in the following questionnaire.

PERSONAL

1. What do you love about him or her?
2. What do you think defines a good wife? husband?
3. What do you think defines a good mother? father?
4. How do you handle poop on your hands? Vomit? Urine? Blood?
5. What would you do if your favorite show was on, but his (or hers) was on at the same time?
6. Do you like to do puzzles?
7. Do you prefer fast food or home cooked?
8. What's the purpose of marriage?
9. What do you like to do in your free time?
10. Does you drink? smoke?
11. How do you handle stress?
12. Are you a yell-er?
13. Is he do as I say or do as I do?
14. Do you like surprises? Spontaneity?
15. How would you handle a catastrophe?
16. What would you do if the other cheated?
17. What would you do if you grew to have irreconcilable differences?

CHILDREN

1. Do you want children?
2. If yes, how many?
3. Is a tight budget a reason to avoid pregnancy?
4. What if one of you is infertile?
5. Where will babies be born...at a hospital, a birthing center, or at home?
6. How do you plan to educate your children...public school, private school, homeschool?
7. How  would he handle having a terminally sick child? or the death of a child?
8. How would you approach the disciplining of children?
9. How do you feel about breastfeeding babies?

WEDDING PLANS

1. Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding?
2. Where do you want to be married? And by whom?
3. Are there any family expectations concerning the wedding?

EXTENDED FAMILY

1. Where would you spend holidays?
2. What are your favorite family traditions?
3. What if a parent needed a place to live?
4. What is your family like?
5. Are you close to parents and siblings?
6. Does you like to spend time with your family?

HOME LIFE

1. How do you feel about household chores?
2. Are you handy around the house?
3. If you start a project, will you finish?
4. Can you live with things in disarray indefinitely?
5. What is your threshold for clutter? dishes piled in the sink? laundry piles?

FINANCIAL

1. What's your reaction to an overdue bill?
2. Do you have a savings account? investments? life insurance?
3. Who do you think should be the breadwinner?
4. How do you manage money?
5. What are your financial goals and plans for retirement? kids' education?
6. Do you have and stick to a budget?
7. Would you rent or buy your home?
8. Would you rather live in city, town, or on the farm?
9. Would you move to a job or find a job where you want to live?
10. How do you feel about mom not working outside the home?
11. Are vacations important to you?
12. How do you handle car and appliance breakdowns?
13. Are you a saver or a spender?
14. Do you have an emergency fund?
15. Do you have credit cards? carry a balance?

RELIGION

1. What is your faith background?
2. Do you believe that the Church has authority over marriage?
3. Do you pray together?
4. Does you attend Sunday Mass? daily Mass? Adoration? Confession?
5. Who is your patron saint?

OTHER ACTIVITIES

1. Get the saints involved...the St Therese Novena is a favorite.  
2. Learn about the five love languages.
3. Learn about the different personality types.
4. Make a list of qualities that you look for in spouse.

**If you have any other ideas for questions...add them to the comments below!