Ode to Big Van

(To the tune of “Big Bad John”)

The van seated 11 so it took our whole crew
We could do bout anything we wanted to do
We drove down the highway like a great white shark
But it was impossible to parallel park
The Big Van.

It carried ball gloves and swimsuits away in the back
And if you were hungry you could always find a snack
We were ready for action as we rambled about
Coulda lived a week if the power went out
In Big Van.

We drove birthdays and baseball and trips to the zoo
Drove two hundred thousand miles and we took the dog, too
We drove that Big Van till it just fell apart
We were there at the end like we were there at the start
Of Big Van.

Well, we all headed east one morning in May
And the Big Van took us bout a half of the way
On a Pennsylvania mountain came a terrible noise
And Dad said, I got a bad feelin’ boys,
Bout Big Van.

The Van drug itself to the side of the road
Had to call a semi-wrecker to get the thing towed
It spilled all its oil till every drop was spent
The trooper said, That’s a catastrophic event
For Big Van.

We rented one car for five and another for the rest
Finished our trip and then we headed back West
The rental cars were nice and they were certainly game
But the kids all said they just weren’t the same
As Big Van.

Driving back through the mountains we were running late
Had to stop off to grab the license plate
Driving away crying just as fast as we can
Cause everybody knew they’d seen the last
Of Big Van.

Got a couple five-seaters now we’re ready to go
And I have to say they’re better when we drive in the snow
But the Van lingers on in the hearts of our clan:
Somewhere in Pennsylvania lies a Big, Big Van.

Navigating Health Care with a Big Family

I don’t really have any good answers to this.  Sorry.  As a matter of fact, I feel very helpless when it comes to finding the balance between appropriate care and being scared of the bills that are going to come on the other end.  Apparently, we have “really good” insurance, too.  Tell that to my wallet.

I’ve been on the phone all day today with medical facilities and our insurance company over my son’s broken wrist back in February, another son’s asthma attack last month, and my upcoming birth this October.  It’s all so convoluted, and my head is spinning!!  It would be different if the “rules” weren’t changing all the time.  What cost me X last year (or last baby) costs me 2X or even 3X now!  Example: for my last son’s circumcision two years ago, the hospital billed my insurance company 35-HUNDRED DOLLARS.  That did not include the OB’s charge of $650.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Anderson.  That’s the contracted amount between our company and the providers.  There’s nothing you can do about it.”

There’s nothing I can do about it.

Humph.  I love a good game of Triple Dog Dare.

I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.

Come October, when my baby’s due, I’m having a home birth.  My first in eight pregnancies.  Not only will I get to have the lights dimmed and no IV stuck in my hand (a real bummer when you’re on your hands and knees laboring), but I’ll get to stay in the tub until the baby is born.  That’s an awesome thing when you have back labor every time.  I won’t have to be strapped to the table and monitored every hour, and I won’t be made to feel I’m some weirdo with three heads when I say I do this naturally and this is my eighth, thank you very much.

And there will be one…1… ONE bill at the end of it all.  (God willing everything goes well and healthy, of course.)

And just in case it’s a boy, my homebirth midwife knows a good rabbi who will circumcise (even if we are Christian!) for a fraction of the price we paid last time.

We have 30 days after the baby is due to make another change, too.  This “major life event” gives us an out to our “great” insurance.  We have been in touch with MediShare, a Christian health sharing group.  My brother and his family have been using it for over a year now, and have nothing but good things to say about it.  So we are going to give it a whirl.  If you are members of something similar, I would love to hear your feedback, especially if you have a large family.

The hospital is going to lose our money.

The insurance company is going to lose our money.

We all need to take charge of our health immediately.  We have been blessed as a family to be in generally great health, but sustaining that is going to be essential as we move forward through these “labor pains” that is our health care system in America today.  Not that we are the poster family for healthy eating, but comparatively I think we eat very well.  Our kids get lots of exercise outside, and we keep t.v. and video games to a minimum.  We are all going to need make sacrifices, especially in how we eat, to keep ourselves and our family out of the doctor’s office.