We are an Easter people (even when we don't feel like it)

He is Risen! He is Risen, indeed! Alleluia! Such happy words! Such joy! It is Easter week and we rejoice in our Savior.

But what if our alleluia feels a bit half-hearted, what if we can't muster that true deep joy that we know we are supposed to feel?

Mamas, Lent is a beautiful time that takes us into the desert. It interrupts Ordinary Time and calls us to focus, to look within, to sacrifice, and to lay ourselves bare, pruning ourselves for the glorious feast of Easter when we celebrate the Victory our Savior has won for us. But aren't there times in this vocation where Lent doesn't start with Ash Wednesday and end with Easter? Aren't there whole seasons of life that feel like Lent?

I want to write an Alleluia post. I want to share the joy that is overflowing from my soul! But this year, Lent came early and it doesn't feel over. I am deeply grateful to my Savior. I can ponder the Passion and give thanks for the Resurrection. My voice got choked up singing all those Alleluias on Easter Sunday, but still I felt like I was in the desert while surrounded by flowers. Past Easters have been glorious. I truly felt that passing from death into new life. Not this one.

Are you there? Been there before? If you know what I'm saying you probably felt some guilt, some thought that you were doing something wrong. Why isn't God pouring those graces you need into your soul? Surely, you are missing something. But, mama, it's not your fault. And you aren't alone.

We are a tired, striving lot, mothers and women. My crosses in this season might look nothing like yours, but they are real, yours and mine. Maybe this Easter is boundless joy for you, but it comes after a season of dryness you thought would never end. Or maybe you are in that place where consolation is rare and barely discernible. You just can't fix what you desperately want to fix and you can't figure out why it's so hard. And it is hard. I know it's hard.

When confessing the state of my soul, my temper, my discouragement, my worry, and really near despair at times, right before Easter, Father said that God must really love me a lot to allow this suffering, this lack of consolation in my life. He said that my perseverance, even if that looks like just going through the motions, is so beautiful to God. He sees us, mamas! He hears those aspirations and pleas you send up because you don't know what else to do. He knows our hearts. Our striving and even our worry are beautiful to Him because it shows the depth of our love. But we must remember that worry is not from Him, and striving, whether it is striving to serve our family or fix their problems, or striving just to keep it all together, often ends up us taking on crosses and burdens that He has not asked us to take up.

I was begging for prayers, again, from a dear group of friends, and a sweet, beautiful mama told me this, " I don't think there can be anything more beautiful to God than you, a mother struggling on without consolation in the darkness of this fallen world, her arms full of her children's needs and every moment filled with an ache to heal and help them. Do you know how beautiful you are? Even Mary didn't solve everything for her Son. There is nothing on earth wrong with things going well and enjoying life, but it is because the sword is piercing your heart that you are so close to Mary. She feels you next to her, even if you can't feel her. Rest in her motherhood; Mary didn't carry the cross for Jesus, she just loved Him through it and was there."

My friend wrote this to me, but it is true for every one of you mothers who carry on in darkness. To be a mother is to ache for your children, whether it's colic, or growing pains, or broken hearts, or a battle for their souls. To be a mother is to strive for more, always. But today, stop striving and worrying. Go to Mary. Stay close. Rest.

Easter will dawn in our hearts when we finally surrender. We don't have to feel it today to hold fast to the knowledge that the Victory is Won! Consolation will come. There will be rejoicing and a feast overflowing with graces that will erase the darkness and bathe us in Light!

Tired mama still waiting in the desert, trust in this. He sees you and you are loved. You can do this.

We are an Easter People. Alleluia!

Friday Feasting: Lenten Recipe Book

graphic came from http://mikeraynersermons.blogspot.com/

Lenten Recipe Book

Many years ago I created the recipe book 
(linked above) for a group of Catholic women. 

You are welcome to click and print the booklet. 

Enjoy a fresh infusion of meatless recipes to carry you through Good Friday and into the Easter season, if you wish to continue the meatless Friday sacrifice.

The Perilous Journey

**photo credit can be found here**

“The Perilous Journey”

per-i-lous adj. full of danger or risk

We hear Lent called a “journey” all the time.  I say it is a journey inside a journey inside a journey inside a journey inside a journey…

         From the moment of our conception, we are thrust on one perilous journey after another.  As we mature - as our callings are revealed – and we answer them (hopefully with grace), we find ourselves battered again and again from all sides. Even from inside ourselves!  Sometimes especially from inside ourselves.

How do we stay on that path we’ve been called to tread without “losing our way”?  When we falter in our ability to find joy or see the worth or just feel too weak to continue, how do we come back to a place of spiritual contentment?  

As a mother of eight, ages 15 down to 4 months, I am constantly wondering what God was thinking when He thought I could handle all this.  I falter most often when my gassy baby just won’t stay asleep, the toddler is doing headstands on the sofa and trying to kick his 5-year-old brother who’s playing so nicely, the 8-year-old is crying over subtraction and borrowing, and the three oldest are just trying to get their school done in the din of it all. Yeah, we homeschool, too.  If I didn’t feel His calling so strongly to both of those vocations, I would be in the “Funny Farm”!

I’ve heard from my well-meaning family that I don’t have to do this to myself.  Strangers have no qualms about telling you you’re nuts.  “Send your kids to school!” “Get better cable!” “Do you have a good gun?” (That was from some old guy in the grocery store; I didn’t hang around to figure out what he meant by that.)

My journey as a homeschooling mother-of-many is not easy.  AT. ALL.  Guess what??  It’s not meant to be!!

But I must watch myself.  I have to do my best to put a label on all those naysayers, especially the ones in my own head; it’s the devil doing his best to put Doubt and Fear in my mind, my soul.  I MUST look to the Light…I MUST stay the course…this battlefield is mine to conquer with the love of my Lord as my shield.  My GOAL is to get my husband and my children to Heaven, despite my failings.  This journey is so very perilous, but I – with God’s grace -  will prevail.

This Lent will be a tiny workshop within This Big Plan that is His Will for my life.  A spiritual workout that will only strengthen my might and my will.  A redirection towards the “light” that always leads us to the right place.  It makes me think of the story I read to the children, The Squire and the Scroll by Jeanne Bishop.  The main character always turns to the “words of the scroll” to direct him no matter the situation, and the scroll always leads him the correct way.

I pray for you all this Lent.  I pray that you, too, find your direction, stay on the course, and hopefully find joy in your journey.

Read To Me Monday: Bringing Lent Home

Donna Marie Cooper O'Boyle is one of those older wiser women in the Catholic Faith, who has lived though many experiences and loved much along the way.  She is one we can look up to and gleam from her wisdom.  I own almost all her books!  She is such a blessing -both through her writing and being in touch with her on FB.  She is very gifted in encouragement and offering women and mothers inspiration on their faith journeys.  God love and bless her!!!

She offers four devotionals for families that can help guide them on their Lenten journeys.  Four to choose from - just buy whatever one speaks to you most and let that giant in our faith "walk with you" during Lent this year.  A huge plus about these books - is that they are well under $5!!!  For that price, buy a few and give some away!!  Each devotional starts on Ash Wednesday and ends on Easter Sunday.  Here are on the links on amazon where you can buy them...

Bringing Home Lent With St. Therese of Lisieux:  Prayers, Reflections, and Activities for Families

Bringing Home Lent With Mother Teresa:  Prayers, Reflections, and Activities for Families (who is not St Teresa!!  ++thank you, God!!++

Bringing Home Lent With St. John Paul II:  Prayers, Reflections, and Activities for Families

Bringing Home Lent With Pope Francis:  Prayers, Reflections, and Activities for Families 

Just a quick peek into these lovely books - each day includes....

• Saintly Inspiration (or Papal Inspiration)
• Parent Reflection
• Family Prayer
• A Story from the Saint's (or Pope's) Life
• Fasting
• Almsgiving
• Prayer

Here's a sample of one of the days from the St. Therese devotional, to show you how simple and doable these are to follow....

++St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us!++

++St. Teresa of Calcutta, pray for us!++

++Pope Saint John Paul II, pray for us!++

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Linking this post up with Siena Sisters, which will have a Lenten Blog Hop (go live date 2/21)

Click on the image below to get more ideas for Lent this year!

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Nineveh 90 Challenge for Moms

Have you heard of Nineveh90 yet?  What is it exactly?

" Nineveh 90 – the 90 days from February 13 to May 13 – is inspired by the excellent program – Exodus 90 – designed exclusively for men by Fr. Brian Doerr and others. I strongly encourage men to sign-up for Exodus 90 (sign-up HERE), and use it for our 90-day journey.

For our Nineveh 90 journey, which includes both men and women, we are embracing the great values of mortification, a support system, and the research in the behavioral sciences that says 90 days is about the time needed to change bad habits. We will also be using some of the tried and true supernatural elements. Namely, the Brown Scapular, 54 Day Rosary Novena, and the 33 Day Preparation for Marian Consecration."

(taken from the Nineveh90 website) 

There are ten elements of the Nineveh 90 Challenge (check them out on the link listed above).  But, here's the kicker, it is super duper intense and scared me right away.  However, a friend of a friend opened my eyes (in a discussion on FB) that we, as moms, are already doing the Nineveh90 but in slightly different ways. For me in particular, I'm doing the Nineveh 9-kids. Ha!!  She is exactly right!

So I thought I'd come up with a list of sacrifices that many of us moms already do on a regular basis, but maybe grumble about more than we should, instead of accepting them more gracefully and putting in the love that we should.  Here's what I could come up with (and a huge "thank you" to my friends that helped me add to this list and complete it)...

Nineveh 90 Challenge for Moms:

• Taking more time to snuggle my baby and enjoy her being little

• Stop what I'm doing and watch and listen to kids play (stopping and slowing down to hear them jabbering and playing can be an opportunity of prayer and thanking God for them)
• read aloud to kids (this snuggle and bonding time is priceless)
• play with kids 
• cook for and feed kids three meals a day

• teach kids
• Eat last every time 
• Eat cold food (which was once warm)
• Drink cold/lukewarm coffee (which was once hot)

• Trying harder to find joy in the everyday and in the littlest of things.
• Having a schedule that is completely controlled by the demands and needs of these littles (ex: all our plans for today are canceled b/c stomach flu hit - ugh!)
• sleep - huh? What's that? Sleep is for the birds! I play "whack a mole" all night with babies and toddlers that wake up at random times
• accepting the un-done.... the messes, the laundry, the dust, the cleaning, the grading, etc.... you can't get to it all regularly. Accepting this as normal is huge. 

•  accepting the "fluff" of carrying many babies that just seems to stick around and lack of time/energy to get rid of it 
• making eye-contact with each child and smiling at them at least once a day 
• finding little ways to let your husband know you love him and do not be offended when he doesn't return or notice your kindness
• love our husband and tend to his needs
• praying together as a family - seems more like a wrestling match. Definitely not the quiet serene moments you hope and long for. 

• do stealth fasting...fast from whatever works well for you, but if you refrain from something and are invited into that thing, accept. Like give up sweets, but if a child offers you a bite of their cookie, accept (I actually had an opportunity to do some fasting last Lent - I wasn't pregnant and I wasn't nursing.  Here's what I did)
• facing many struggles and feelings of inadequacy in parenting

And most important of all - do all this with JOY and a smile upon your face!

And, obviously, maybe some of these items do not apply to you.  Maybe you are already gifted in one of those areas and it isn't really a struggle for you.  I wanted to include many items - items that I do face on a regular basis and/or something I have had to wrestle with at one time or another.  Maybe you could pick a few of these items and work on doing them more cheerfully and lovingly, as if doing them for Christ himself.  

"And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection."                 ~Col 3:14

What else would you add?  Please share in the comments!!

The Power of Lent - Or Why I Choose To Make My Children Suffer

I found the perfect Easter dress for my daughter at Costco while shopping for fish sticks, fruits, vegetables and other Lenten fare. The dress was pink, and sparkly and twirly, everything my girly girl wants in a dress. I knew I better buy it quickly, or by the time I got back to the store, it could be gone. When I got back home, I spirited the dress away to my closet, to wait until Easter.

Katherine, my 4 year old and only girl, saw the dress right away.  I think she must have some sort of radar for beautiful clothes. She asked me, “Mommy, please??” It would have been so easy to say “Yes.” She wanted this dress so badly. But I knew there was something bigger at stake here.  So, I made one of the difficult parenting choices I seem to have to make every day, and I told her “No.” She cried. She fussed. She told me she didn’t love me. I told her I loved her so much, and no, she couldn’t have the dress. It was for Easter, a very Special day, and she had to wait.

Almost every day this Lent, she asked me for that dress. And every day I told her that she would have to wait. She cried, she wailed, she told me I didn’t love her. She tried to bargain. But of course, she didn’t know that this decision of mine had nothing to do with the dress itself.

This decision had to do with the time, a few years from now, that a group of friends would be making fun of the kid with intellectual disabilities and the easy thing, the thing that would give her instant gratification, would be to go along, to gain social acceptance by taking the path of least resistance.  Another little while, and the temptation to find “love” in the arms of a boy, who might not realize that he is taking something which does not belong to him, might overwhelm her. In myriad ways, the world will give her opportunities to take the easy path, to skirt the rules, to give in to temptation.

This girl needs muscles. This world is tough. It takes no prisoners.

I love her enough to tell her “No.” To tell her that there is something more important than our own gratification. To teach her that good things are worth waiting for, and, more importantly, she is worth waiting for.

Easter came, and my daughter knew it was time. The dress was waiting for her, and she was going to get ready for the Celebration. I helped her take a shower, braided her hair, applied a little lip gloss and a hint of eyeshadow. I painted her nails. Then, she put on the dress.

The joy she felt wiped away her sorrow at having to wait. And her joy was more complete for having waited. She was radiant, and in a small way, her sacrifice and eventual satisfaction gave her a taste of the Resurrection.

I am thankful to be a part of a Church which gives me a chance to experience a little piece of suffering, to carry a little bit of the cross, and to unite my sufferings to Christ. And I am so happy to have the privilege of sharing the same with my children – that their joy, and mine, might be complete.