When my kids were younger, I was concerned if they understood the real meaning of Christmas. Three of my boys were diagnosed with autism, and I was doubly concerned. With society removing every notion of spirituality and stores marketing the perfect gift, I needed to emphasize the birth of Christ.
Before December 25, we prepared! The first tradition we tackled was Christmas Cards. My boys were visual learners, so I capitalized on pictures. I took my kids to purchase the cards, and they could pick any box, as long as the card had a religious image. Their favorite was always the Three Wise Men, but occasionally, an angel or Madonna and Child would be chosen. The boys signed the cards and stamped the envelopes. I purchased religious stamps, so they would see multiple images of Christ’s birth. The cards were then ready to be mailed, AFTER December 25.
On Christmas Eve, we celebrated by going to Mass. The boys were excited to stay up for the midnight mass (which was really 10pm). Then we went home to our immediate family gift exchange.
On the day of Christmas, our boys with autism needed structure, so we had a schedule. In the morning we opened a few gifts from relatives or from St. Nick. In the afternoon, we celebrated with a birthday party. My kids understood the traditional rituals of a birthday party: gifts, cake, candles, and singing. So, we celebrated the birth of Christ like all other birthdays. We baked a cake together. We all blew out the candles and sang "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. In the evening, we opened gifts from the grandparents.
After a few years, we added our third tradition, the celebrating the twelve days of Christmas. We gave gifts every day from December 25 to January 6. We have a box labelled for each of the 12 days. Again, this was to emphasize that Christmas Season starts on December 25, not ends.
So what did I give each day when the boys were younger? The gifts varied, from necessities to fun. Anything could be in the box: shoes or socks, gum or soda, DVDs, board games or a deck of cards or homemade items. Some presents were very individualized, like sheet music or CDs.
As the boys have grown, we have moved toward the gift of self, meaning time we spend together. The gifts in the box are now dinners out, a day at the beach, movie tickets, bowling, miniature golf, and even Disneyland.
Now, our kids are almost grown; only two remain at home. They have a niece and nephew to teach, so they still bake a cake. They volunteer to provide a gift for the 12 days, ie what is the family going to do. Last Christmas, I heard my 16 year old son explain to his girlfriend why we celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas. He simply stated, "We celebrate Christ, not just Christmas. So, the traditions have taught the lesson well.
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