A Case for Patience and Praise

When my husband and I were first married, we attended RCIA classes.  I had been poorly catechized growing up and he was Southern Baptist and wondered WHY we had to go to my church every Sunday.  I didn’t know the answers, and thus…we took the classes.  For me it was GREAT!!  It opened my eyes to why I was claiming to be Catholic and reaffirmed my belief that I needed to be in “my” church every Sunday, not every OTHER Sunday.  At the end of the classes, he had not been swayed to convert, but appreciated the fact that I felt more convicted than ever to practice my Catholic faith.

One image I’ve always taken from that class was a married couple in their 70’s.  He was finally converting after all those years.  She didn’t seem exceptionally excited, but sat there quiet and calm.  I recognize it now as divine trust.  She just KNEW he would end up coming to the Faith one day, you could just tell.

Fast-forward a few years for us…babies coming and the journey of parenthood has begun.  We were in a town where the local Catholic church was not a good one.  My husband, used to the preacher feeding you spiritually with his words, was starving.  In desperation, I reluctantly agreed to attend church services twice on Sundays, one at the Catholic church and one at the Baptist church (which happened to be across the street from each other).  It wasn’t easy.  Church in general isn't easy when you have two little boys and you’re a new mother.  You have expectations of church behavior that just isn’t possible for a toddler and a baby.  The Baptist church had a nursery, but I hated leaving my baby with someone I didn’t know.  You couldn’t bring them into the main sanctuary because as soon as they made one little peep, the “why isn't that baby in the nursery” stares started boring through you.

That set-up didn’t last long.

Suffice it to say that we’ve been through a rocky spiritual journey in our almost-18 years of marriage.  I’ve been pushy with the Catholic faith in the past, but I learned better.  He’s never been one to be public and forthcoming with his spiritual journey, and that’s been difficult for me. (I LOVE talking religion!). I’ve fought resentment as I believed the father is *supposed* to be the spiritual head of the household.  He’s endured spiritual deserts as he accompanied me and the children week after week and year after year to Mass on Sundays and Holy Days.

He didn’t have the Eucharist to fall back on, you see.  For my husband, it was more about the man giving the homily, and most of the Catholic priests were NOOOO Baptist preacher!

As the years went by, we moved to a town and finally found a Catholic parish where there was reverence for the Holy Mass and Eucharist, the priest is a wonderful homilist, and the people automatically feel like family.  This past year, my husband’s job changed, and he worked a “normal” 8-5 M-F schedule.  We had never had this luxury for most of our marriage, and it allowed him to commit to attending Mass with us every Sunday.  I suggested that he just go to the RCIA classes while we were in Sunday school.  No pressure.  Promise.  

All through the year, I hadn’t asked him more than “How was your class?”  Sometimes he would open up and talk about the people in his class, the questions they had and even some questions he had.  I didn’t prod too much.  It wasn’t until the week before the Rite of Election that I asked him, “What’s the deal??  Are you going to do this or not?  Because it’s next weekend when you stand up before the Bishop and ask him to accept you, and you haven't told me anything yet.  And I have things on the calendar already for Saturday that I’ll need to change if you’re going to do it, so are you going to do it?”  (All that came out in about 3.2 seconds.)

“I am.  I am going to do it.”

**Cue tears and hugs from wife.**

Years ago I gave his conversion over to the Holy Spirit.  I knew that it would never be able to come from me or anything I said or pushed.  It was going to come more from how I lived my faith than anything else. (No pressure!)

If you are struggling with a similar issue, I beg you to be patient, trust in God, and leave it up to His time.

Because He is all-wise and all-good.

Please welcome Bryan Anderson…Home.  And all Glory be to God!

The Perilous Journey

**photo credit can be found here**

“The Perilous Journey”

per-i-lous adj. full of danger or risk

We hear Lent called a “journey” all the time.  I say it is a journey inside a journey inside a journey inside a journey inside a journey…

         From the moment of our conception, we are thrust on one perilous journey after another.  As we mature - as our callings are revealed – and we answer them (hopefully with grace), we find ourselves battered again and again from all sides. Even from inside ourselves!  Sometimes especially from inside ourselves.

How do we stay on that path we’ve been called to tread without “losing our way”?  When we falter in our ability to find joy or see the worth or just feel too weak to continue, how do we come back to a place of spiritual contentment?  

As a mother of eight, ages 15 down to 4 months, I am constantly wondering what God was thinking when He thought I could handle all this.  I falter most often when my gassy baby just won’t stay asleep, the toddler is doing headstands on the sofa and trying to kick his 5-year-old brother who’s playing so nicely, the 8-year-old is crying over subtraction and borrowing, and the three oldest are just trying to get their school done in the din of it all. Yeah, we homeschool, too.  If I didn’t feel His calling so strongly to both of those vocations, I would be in the “Funny Farm”!

I’ve heard from my well-meaning family that I don’t have to do this to myself.  Strangers have no qualms about telling you you’re nuts.  “Send your kids to school!” “Get better cable!” “Do you have a good gun?” (That was from some old guy in the grocery store; I didn’t hang around to figure out what he meant by that.)

My journey as a homeschooling mother-of-many is not easy.  AT. ALL.  Guess what??  It’s not meant to be!!

But I must watch myself.  I have to do my best to put a label on all those naysayers, especially the ones in my own head; it’s the devil doing his best to put Doubt and Fear in my mind, my soul.  I MUST look to the Light…I MUST stay the course…this battlefield is mine to conquer with the love of my Lord as my shield.  My GOAL is to get my husband and my children to Heaven, despite my failings.  This journey is so very perilous, but I – with God’s grace -  will prevail.

This Lent will be a tiny workshop within This Big Plan that is His Will for my life.  A spiritual workout that will only strengthen my might and my will.  A redirection towards the “light” that always leads us to the right place.  It makes me think of the story I read to the children, The Squire and the Scroll by Jeanne Bishop.  The main character always turns to the “words of the scroll” to direct him no matter the situation, and the scroll always leads him the correct way.

I pray for you all this Lent.  I pray that you, too, find your direction, stay on the course, and hopefully find joy in your journey.

The Lie of Productivity

I am living in the world of Tiny Baby.

Oh, yeah, he's cute.

But he's gassy. And fussy. And babies like that need mama to hold him. And nurse him. And hold him when he's screaming. And nurse him till he falls asleep and then sit there with him for two hours.

I can remember my first baby being like that. I sat on the sofa for hours, devouring 1300 page Tom Clancy novels and knowing I needed to be cleaning or cooking, but he was my first. I felt entitled to just sit there and soak him in. I would feel terrible when my husband came home from work, and I would say to him, "If I moved, he would wake up! I tried to lay him down, but he just wakes up again!!" (This was before I learned about swaddling and in the hey day of "Back to Sleep". I've since learned swaddling is Heaven-sent and lots of babies don't die if you put them on their stomachs!)

I felt so bad because I felt as if I didn't have a "productive" day. I really couldn't get anything extra done on top of the minimal things I needed to get done. And it was TOUGH for me to deal with! My dear husband THRIVES on how much he gets done, and he is constantly thinking of the next thing or the next day and projects. He admires people like himself, too, so it was really difficult for me because I felt like I was letting him down.

Fast-forward fifteen years and seven more babies later: this #8 boy-child of mine is just like his big brother. I don't know what's going on in those guts, but it is NOT conducive to Mommy getting stuff done!!  I think because I was so active up until the end of this pregnancy, too, it made a huge difference. I was "getting it done", and then I wasn't.😩 Also, there are just a *few* more plates I'm spinning with 8 children, homeschooling, public high school, co-op, Sunday school, etc., etc., etc.!

Why do I place productivity so high? Do I place it TOO high? Am I so proud in the way I want my house to run, to look, to smell that I lose sight of what's most important??  I'm sure many of you know what it's like to hold that tiny baby in your arms not really wanting to put him down because you know he'll be so small for such a short time, BUT BUT BUT dinner needs to be made, laundry, kids are outside with no shoes and it's 52 degrees!!

Yin yang. It's such a difficult dichotomy to have to live. A house FULL of stuff to do, and trying to pretend it doesn't exist so you can enjoy your baby time or toddler games or painting nails with your tween or listening to a story from your teenager about the crazy people on his bus.

I want to give you pearls of wisdom here. I want to say this baby has made me realize XYZ and now I'm sharing it with you to make it all better. I will say I think that Satan is behind the idea that productivity is the most important goal (or acting like it is) for a mother.

I'm a tired mama. But I love it. Would do it again in a heartbeat. Not easy, no, no, no; but I love the journey of self denial. Over and over again. It's hard to do patiently, but it feels so good when you get it right.

Even just once.

Read To Me Monday - Saints and Sinners: A History of the Popes

Saints and Sinners: A History of the Popes by Eamon Duffy

A disclaimer:  I have not yet finished this book.  (And there are about 50 other books in the same predicament on my bookshelf and sitting beside my bed and chair.)

This is a 400 page book, and I have gotten through about 200 pages.  I have had to read chapters over and over as my ever-distracted brain tried to digest and comprehend where it all falls in history.  Fortunately, Mr. Duffy does an outstanding job of placing each papacy into its historical context.

This book is a nice balance of meaty and readability.  (Kind of like the Old Testament?)

What I like best about this book is how it puts our present papacy in perspective.  Pope Francis ain't got nuthin' on Pope Vigilius!  We must always remember no matter what we hear on the news (even the Catholic news) that our Faith has overcome so much tumult from as close as the See of Peter himself.  Perspective...perspective.  I feel this book is a must-read for our current times.

Amazing Almost-Flourless Chocolate Cake

This cake is to DIE for!!

Great substitution: Oreo cookies for the graham crackers!

Amazing Almost-Flourless Chocolate Cake

INGREDIENTS
1 cup Pecan, Toasted And Coarsely Ground
1 cup Graham Cracker Crumbs
1/4 cup melted butter
2 tablespoon White Sugar
16 ounce semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup Whipping Cream
6 Eggs, Beaten
3/4 cup White Sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour


STEPS
For crust- Combine pecans, cracker crumbs,melted butter, and the sugar. Press into bottom and about 1 1/2 inches up sides of greased 9-in spring form pan. In large saucepan cook and stir chocolate and whipping cream over low heat until the chocolate melts. Transfer mixture to medium mixing bowl and set aside. In large mixing bowl combine eggs, the 3/4 cup sugar, and the flour; beat 10 minutes or till thick and lemon colored. Fold 1/4 of the egg mixture into the chocolate mixture; fold chocolate mixture into remaining egg mixture. Pour into crust-lined pan. Bake cake in 325 degree oven about 45 minutes or till puffed around edge and halfway to center (the center will be slightly soft). Cool in pan on a wire rack for 20 minutes. Remove sides of pan. Cool for 4 hours. Cover any leftovers and store in refrigerator. Makes 16 servings.

Monday Meme: The Power of Women

Because this is my “safe” place, I’m going to go ahead and speak what’s been eating at my heart since the election of our new president.

I have friends and acquaintances who voted for the Democratic nominee, and I am saddened and perplexed at the level of their devastation on the election of the Republican nominee. Do you think we were overjoyed at the person we had to vote for? Do you think we – and our party – looked to the personal lifestyle of our nominee and voted him in for those reasons? I was as shocked as the next person as it seemed more assured that he would be our nominee. I could not believe it. That being said, when the chips fell, he was the one on the ticket for the Republican Party. He was the one I HAD to vote for.

“Why?” You say. “You could have voted for the Democratic nominee. Don’t you want a woman president? Let’s break that proverbial ‘glass ceiling’!!”

Yes! I would like to see a woman become president of these United States one day. Yes! There are many attributes of the Democratic party that I support: care of our earth, welcoming the immigrant, and helping those who need a helping hand.

BUT (ah, c’mon you knew it was coming)…

As a Catholic, I am led by my Faith (notice that capital “F”) that is written in that beautiful book, the Catechism, to believe that without LIFE, no amount of environmental protection or immigration reform or welfare is going to amount to a hill of beans. If I am not standing with THE MOST INNOCENT, MOST VULNERABLE among us FIRST, then I cannot stand for anything else.

Historically, the party that has been on the side of the unborn child has been the Republican party. You know this, I know this. Our priests and bishops know this. They spoke about it from the pulpit. (Well, at least ONE priest did. I’m sure you saw this circulating on Facebook, as I did. Best 20 minutes of the election. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=9&v=881aDDE5qFY). 

Our bishops wrote on the USCCB website about prioritizing issues, and the Right to Life was at the T-O-P. The priest in the above video went so far as to say you put your soul in imminent danger by voting for the party that upholds the right to an abortion. “Can he say that???” Yup, and he did.

I’m sorry. Can you just IGNORE that??? Can you really just say to the people sent by GOD to shepherd you to Heaven, “Excuse me. I know better than you. Thank you, and God bless.” This is what has bothered me the most: the blatant disregard for the counsel of our priests and bishops.

The other topic about this election that has bothered me goes back to my original meme. We women are powerful, and we know it. As God made us different physically, he made
the source of our strength different, too. I have listened to panels of women trying to analyze the reasons why the Democratic nominee did not get elected. Why the white women of the country couldn’t vote for another white woman to lead them. They mused that we just “weren’t ready” to have a woman in as powerful a role as the President of the United States, that the ones who came out to vote were “uneducated,” or that maybe we’re still fighting with some subconscious interior racism.

Puh-lease.

The majority of my Christian Catholic friends voted for Trump because of the party he represented and the values that party represents, MAINLY the right to life. Yes, I recognize the faults of my party. It does most certainly have them. Again, however, under the guidance of my Faith and my bishops, I turn to which party is going to stand up for the unborn, and that is the Republican party.

For my friends who think we’re going to Hell in a hand basket now that Donald Trump will become our president, I beg you not to despair. I double beg you to stop posting articles analyzing how this happened. I triple beg you to discontinue labeling those of us who voted Republican as the heartless people you are making us out to be.

You know me. I know you. Not only do I not think you’re baby-killing, liar-loving tree hugger; I completely LOVE you for the compassionate, patriotic, hopeful person you are.

All women should follow the example of our Blessed Mother, the most powerful woman ever created was the most humble of servants. 

Friday Feasting: Apple Cranberry Casserole

photo source... http://cdn1.tmbi.com/TOH/Images/Photos/37/300x300/exps4010_RM2003C47B.jpg

Everyone likes dessert. Especially on Thanksgiving. Especially when it’s actually served with the regular meal like it’s a healthy side.

Growing up I always wondered how my Aunt Trudy could slide this “casserole” in beside the turkey - NOT on the dessert table - and get away with it. But then again, Aunt Trudy got away with a lot…just because of who she was.

Enjoy!


Apple Cranberry Casserole

Ingredients:

3 cups chopped apples
2 cups fresh cranberries
1 tsp. lemon juice
1 ½ cups sugar
1 cup chopped walnuts
1/3 cup brown sugar
½ cup melted butter
1 1/3 cups oatmeal

Directions:
Place apples and cranberries in greased 2 qt. baking dish. Sprinkle with lemon juice. Cover with sugar; set aside. Combine oats, walnuts, brown sugar and butter in a small bowl to moisten. Place over fruit. Bake uncovered in 375 degree oven for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Great with chicken or turkey.

Friday Feasting: A Cookie is a Personal Thing

photo credit... https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b9/Chocolate_Chip_Cookies_-_kimberlykv.jpg

A Cookie is a Personal Thing

Just like a sandwich, a cup of coffee or tea, or maybe even your pizza; just about everyone has a personal preference on what kind of chocolate chip cookie they prefer. The following chocolate chip cookie recipe makes an AMAZING cookie to be eaten right off the pan if you prefer soft and chewy. However, if you like a cookie that will stand up to a good milk dunk, these are also some of the best. The catch: you'll have to squirrel some away to allow them to reach that crunchy level. They are SO GOOD, usually the batch doesn't make it to the next day.
THE LAST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE RECIPE YOU'LL EVER NEED 3/4 cup white sugar3/4 cup packed brown sugar3/4 cup stick butter or margarine, softened1 large egg1 tsp. Vanilla extract2 1/4 cups flour1 tsp. Baking soda1/2 tsp. Salt12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions:Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, mix sugars, butter, egg, and vanilla until smooth. Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt. Add chocolate chips. Use cookie scoop or spoons to drop dough by rounded tablespoons onto untreated cookie sheet. Bake 7-8 minutes per batch. Cookies should be slightly golden but still pale. Cool 5 minutes on a cookie sheet.

Friday Feasting: Protein Balls

**photo credit - found HERE**

"As Baby #8 Birthday approaches, I remember how spectacular it was last time around with #7 when my sister showed up with three gallon-sized bags of energy/protein balls and “breastfeeding balls” in three yummy flavors.  They were a game-changer, folks!  I snacked on those things all day and all night.  They were gone in no time!  But it was SO NICE having that quick snack to help keep milk production up and the “hangry” mama feelings away.

(I *may* have even told my kids that if they ate them, it would make milk leak out of their nursies. Boys, too.  Hey – a mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do!)

So here are a couple of basic recipes.  Make them for the new mom in your life.  She’ll remember it forever!  And mix it up!  Use dried cranberries or cherries, walnuts, and almonds.  You don’t have to use the whey powder either.  Just play with the dry vs. wet ingredients until you get the consistency you need"

Chocolate Protein Balls

Ingredients
• 1 cup rolled oats
• 1/2 cup natural peanut butter
• 1/3 cup honey
• 1/4 cup chopped dark chocolate
• 2 tablespoons flax seeds
• 2 tablespoons chia seeds
• 1 tablespoon chocolate-flavored protein powder, or to taste

Directions:
1.  Stir oats, peanut butter, honey, chocolate, flax seeds, chia seeds, and protein powder together in a bowl until evenly mixed. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
2.  Scoop chilled mixture into balls. Keep cold until serving.

**photo credit - found HERE**

No-Bake Lactation Cookies

Ingredients
• 2 cups old-fashioned oats
• ½ cup ground or milled flaxseed
• 3 tablespoons brewer’s yeast
• 1 cup peanut butter or almond butter
• ½ cup honey
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• ½ cup dark chocolate chips

Instructions
1. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, add all ingredients except for the chocolate chips. Mix on low speed until mixture is well combined. Stir in chocolate chips.
2. Roll mixture into 2-tablespoon sized smooth balls and place on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Place in the refrigerator for 30 minutes or enjoy right away. Once the bites have set, transfer them to an air-tight container and store in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

Read To Me Monday: St. Patrick's Summer

Read-to-Me-Monday 

St. Patrick’s Summer by Marigold Hunt

I can’t believe I’m recommending a book that I haven’t even finished reading yet.  It’s like “sharing” an article on Facebook without perusing it first.  It comes dangerously close to sin, no??  I can rest assured, however, that I’m not leading you astray as many, many of my close “friends” have mentioned it more than a few times as essential reading for a child receiving their First Communion.
Of which I will have one this year.

I’m also all about combining children’s subjects in a large homeschool family (it’s all about simplification, right??).  So, since we’re expecting a baby in a little over month (or less…please let it be less!), I’ve been reading St. Patrick’s Summer by Marigold Hunt out loud to my children, ages 13 down to 5.

It is an OUTSTANDING book.  The kids have been asking great questions, I have been bowled over by ideas on the Blessed Trinity that I had never heard before, and I think we’re only on Chapter 4!!  I can only imagine where this book will take us, and I see now why it’s so highly recommended, even if you DON’T have a child receiving their First Communion this year.  This may very well replace ALL Faith & Life catechisms this year!!

Overcomplicating Life – Pride Run Amok

   

      How many times have we heard it?  “Simplify your life, and you’ll be so much happier.”  I’ve taken part in the “40 Bags in 40 Days” for Lent.  It was nice, letting go of those things that were just bogging me down.  It was years ago when we did this, and my closet reflects the fact that I usually go after my children’s clutter first before dealing with my own mess.

As I get closer to giving birth to #8 (less than 7 weeks!!), I am constantly thinking about ways I need to let go and reflecting on why I put so much time and effort into This or That or Meals or School and finding the balance that I know will be put to the test once Tiny Baby gets here.  My – and I do mean MY – problem is that I take so much PRIDE in the things I do.  It makes me feel so nice to eat a healthy, tasty meal and have *most* of the kids and my husband compliment me.  (Plus, I just like to eat yummy and not bleck-y food!)  I like to be the person reading the story out loud during school (because I can do it best, right?).  I like to the person in charge (because then I can make sure we do it my way, right?)  I like to keep things much longer than I should because there could be the day when it’s needed, and I’ll be the HERO who came up with just the right thing or just the right outfit!

But this is all PRIDE.  Run amok.  Burning me down.  ‘Cause I can not not NOT NOT be all those things and do all those things and stay sane.  One of my stock lines to my kids is “I am only one woman with two hands, one set of eyes and one set of ears; no I cannot {insert child desire here}.”.   Another is “CHILL!”  Why can’t I just take my own advice??  I want my children to remember a happy, not stressed-out mama; not that three-headed dragon of a woman I feel like I am too much.

I will tell you this:  I give thanks to God for my uneventful pregnancies and births.  He has graciously led me to the most wonderful midwife who will help me give birth at home (my first homebirth!) instead of in a hospital.  The simplicity of this pregnancy – even though I am over 35 (I’ll be 42 when the baby comes!), I have gestational diabetes, and I always have back labor – has been SUCH a relief for me.  I don’t have to do deal on a monthly – now weekly – basis with the doctor’s office receptionist, lab technician, nurse, and THEN midwife.  I won’t have to deal with a totally different set of the same on the day the baby comes, plus all the rules and regulations of the hospital.  On the tail end of it, if all goes as planned, I won’t have to deal with the bills and overcharges and wrong charges and “it’s because you haven’t met your deductible yet” junk.  Why do they have to make it SOOOOOO complicated just to have a baby??

I am simply a pregnant woman who needs to give birth.

I am simply a mother of many children.

I have found that through this experience of homebirth, I need to have more faith that God wouldn’t have led me down this path, if He didn’t think I could handle it.  It’s my own pride in worldly appearances  and desires that bring me to the point of breaking.

+ Lord, grant me more humility.  

Lord, grant me more faith.  

Lord, grant me more gratitude for this wonderful journey You have set me on.+

Monday Meme: Come, Follow Me

Being a stay-at-home mom can be a lonely thing.

Yes, I do have seven people around me all day long wanting a piece of my wisdom, but honestly…you don’t feel very wise when you say (for the 4,000th time), “When you take the car out of your brother’s hand without asking first, he’s going to hit you in the head.”  Then your husband comes home and has all these lovely adult tales from work, and all you have to offer to “How was your day?” is the dilemma you’re having choosing a pre-algebra math book for your 8th grader.  Boorrr-iiinngg.

So I’ve been trying to school plan for the past two weeks, and it’s coming very slowly.

Yes, I’ve tried all the tricks, “Play a game or build a puzzle with your child, and that small 10 minutes will make them feel loved and acknowledged, and they will give you some space to get done what you need to get done.”  Ummm, yeah.

So, in bright, optimistic moments, my mind goes to a good place, and I say to myself, “I am SO popular!  How nice to be so loved and wanted and needed. “

I know there will be a day not so long away where I will yearn for the days when I had little ones trying to crawl up in my lap when I just need to find the best deal on a used version of that history book!

Until that day of blessed efficiency comes, I will fight that demon that wants to yell and say ,“JUST GIVE MOMMY A FEW MINUTES!!”

Because right now…I’m a rock star to my kids.  (Right?  I mean, they don’t just love me for the food, right?  Or the fun places I take them?)


P.S.  I’ve also been thinking a lot lately about how really, really focusing my identity in Christ vs. what I’m getting/not getting done at home or how much my children like me or whatever I fix for dinner.  Thanks, Olympic athletes doing awesome witnessing!!

Friday Feasting: Easy Chicken Enchiladas

"Because I am currently at the beach for a week with my Mom and Dad, six siblings and their significant others, and the fourteen grandchildren (half of which are mine!), I'm submitting an easy recipe today. It feeds a LOT of people with a Sam’s pack of chicken breasts cooked in the crock pot and shredded. I wish I had called Mexican night this week when we were assigning dinner nights for each family, but my sister claimed it first."

Easy Chicken Enchiladas
This recipe is from allrecipes.com (are you surprised??)

Serves: 10-12
Prep Time: 20 mins
Cook Time: 30 mins

INGREDIENTS
2 packages cream cheese
2 cups Salsa
4 cups chopped cooked chicken breast meat
2 cans pinto beans
12(6 inch) flour tortillas
4 cups shredded Colby-Jack cheese

STEPS
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease two 9x13 inch baking dish.
2. In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the cream cheese and salsa. Cook, stirring until melted and well blended. Stir in chicken and pinto beans. Fill tortillas with the mixture, roll and place into the prepared baking dish. Spread cheese over the top. Cover with aluminum foil.
3. Bake for 30 minutes, or until heated through. Garnish with your favorite toppings such as lettuce and tomatoes, or sour cream.

Bonus: Mango Salsa

Fixing People

Last night before we crashed, my husband and I watched a clip from Fr. Mike Schmitz on Facebook. It was a step in the right direction in my desire to end the Sabbath with a spiritual aspect instead of Facebook. (**Ma Kim waving hands in a hypnotic way**…Pay no attention to the fact that I found the video on Facebook!)

Of course, after watching it, I “shared” it and said “For my married peeps.” I have several friends who are struggling mightily in their marriages, and I hope that perhaps one or all of them would watch and be able to share with their significant others. Or at least watch it themselves and realize they could be the font of grace in their marriages, even if it takes a depth of humility that seems beyond what they are capable of.

I shared an example in my own marriage, too. My husband constantly leaves the light on in our closet. What a waste of energy!! In my mind I’m thinking, “I have to stick to a budget when I go grocery shopping, and YOU get to leave the lights on.” How long this has gone on!! Sarcasm would drip from my mouth when I would say in his earshot, “Don’t worry, I’ll turn this light off!”, “Hey, lights don’t turn themselves off!”, or my personal favorite, “Watch the little Closet Fairy turn the light off!!”

One afternoon, I was sitting there on the bed just taking a breather, and I looked at the dark closet door.

God gave me the grace to realize that if something tragic happened, and my husband was gone forever, I would YEARN for those left-on lights, that gritty man-hair left all over the bathroom sink, and that (sometimes very LOUD) family home organizer who keeps us all in line when I just want to throw my hands up in despair.

This really just goes back to Ma Molly’s post from last Wednesday. We must dig deep and find gratitude and practice humility even when we’d rather just “fix it” to our own standards. Especially when we KNOW we are not perfect either, in ANY sense of the word.

Persevere. Fight the good fight. Your marriage is worth it. Always.

Printable Litany of Humility

Monday Meme: "Can You Pass Me a Paper Bag, Please?"

Since I started officially homeschooling about 9 years ago, I have brought four additional babies home from the hospital.  There is another one making his or her debut in the family right smack in the middle of fall “term” (mid-October) this year.  I must say, dear Heavenly Father Whose Timing is Always Right, that that is a really, REALLY tough time (in my mind) for a homeschooling mom to bring home a new baby.  You need to get started in August vs. September so everyone will be in the school “groove”; you really don’t want to do ANYTHING during that time because you’re exhausted just fixing breakfast and there’s just 6 weeks left till birth; then you need that recovery time after baby comes – let’s just say four weeks for giggles – and that puts you SMACK in the holiday season.  Thanksgiving, Advent, Christmas cookies and parties, the desire to keep the regular traditions up for your sweet children; although, now you realize you’ve just set yourself up for failure come St. Nicholas Day and you have no gold coins.

Yes, I realize all of this is self-induced stress.  Yes, I realize I need to pare down in some – no, many – ways.  At least I am thinking of this now, on this side of the new babe.  In fact, I’m thinking of it so much, that I’m having a hard time breathing sometimes.  You know what’s it’s like with lots of children in the house – no time to think for more than 20 seconds before someone needs you for something.

And then…

‘Tis the season for school planning.

Don’t you sometimes just want someone to come in and tell you NOT that “everything’s going to be ok”, but that they know exactly what you need to do for each child for each day???  Since my Fairy Homeschooling Mother hasn’t come calling for the past four babes, I’m getting the feeling that it is up to me.  And God, of course.  And all those other saints ahead of me who have overcome what they considered bad timing and circumstances that seem impossible to overcome.

I give thanks for the post last week by Ma Karen showing how she’s going to use her “morning basket” (that doesn’t have to happen in the actual morning).  It’s given me ideas to ponder as I lead my 8th, 6th, 4th, 2nd, & K children on this road of education this upcoming year.  I give thanks for my experience with babies and homeschooling.  It’s not going to look like what ANYONE (official) thinks school should look like, but it’s going to be ours and the kids are going to love on their new little sibling.  I KNOW I shouted so much after Baby #6, whom was also born in October, because I just didn’t feel I was getting anything done.  Having that experience will hopefully give me balance in my expectations.

I keep reading posts on Facebook from younger mamas with fewer children, but still are under the same stresses with new babies and toddlers and homeschooling their 1st and 3rd grader.  I know exactly how they feel, but I feel like such a hypocrite giving them any advice.  I feel like I barely have it “figured out” even on my eighth!!  Isn’t that crazy??

One thing I have learned, though, He always…ALWAYS…ALWAYS provides.  On the other side of the troubles are Light and Joy and a child who is suddenly so grown up.  You have a hard time understanding that on baby #1 or #2 or #3 or #4.  But it is Truth.

But did I mention part of our homeschooling journey is sending my oldest off to 9th grade at our local public high school??  And that he starts in less than a month??

PASS THAT PAPER BAG!!!!

Monday Meme: I Said No

       

        Back in April I received a text from our Religious Ed director.

“We really need to start looking over VBS programs and making a decision.”

I texted her back.

“I think you have the wrong number.”

It’s always so surprising to me that because I’ll bring in proportionally the most children to a program that means automatically I’ll be available and willing to run it.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a planner and I love kids and I love talking about Jesus and the Church.  I can be relatively creative and I will dance to any VBS jingle they throw my way!!  HOWEVER, this year I’m 5 months pregnant with my 8th child, and there was no WAY I was going to take that on.

      Our parish is really small, though, so there aren’t too many people willing to take on such a venture.  After initially telling our DRE that I couldn’t possibly take on something else, my good friend stepped up and said she would do it.  I know it’s going to be better than any bought program because she is TOTALLY awesome and immediately wanted to do something on The Year of Mercy vs. Submerged or the Cave Explorers or whatever else the VBS creator gods have churned out this year.

      We start today, and as excited as I am to begin it (mainly because I’m not running it in any sort of fashion), I know that by the end of the week, we are ALL going to be exhausted, pregnant or NOT.  The kids have such a great time, though, and it’s great to see my older kids stepping up and being helpers as they age out.

      And I’m also pretty proud of myself for saying “no”.  I’m a total “yes” girl, and it was a little difficult to say “no” at first when I was approached.  I knew there weren’t many people who would take on the challenge, and I hated to think of the burden that it would put on someone else.  We are all busy up to our eyeballs, right??  I could feel very deep in my bones and soul that God was not calling me to be in charge of this, though.  And I listened.  Glory be to God!

Navigating Health Care with a Big Family

I don’t really have any good answers to this.  Sorry.  As a matter of fact, I feel very helpless when it comes to finding the balance between appropriate care and being scared of the bills that are going to come on the other end.  Apparently, we have “really good” insurance, too.  Tell that to my wallet.

I’ve been on the phone all day today with medical facilities and our insurance company over my son’s broken wrist back in February, another son’s asthma attack last month, and my upcoming birth this October.  It’s all so convoluted, and my head is spinning!!  It would be different if the “rules” weren’t changing all the time.  What cost me X last year (or last baby) costs me 2X or even 3X now!  Example: for my last son’s circumcision two years ago, the hospital billed my insurance company 35-HUNDRED DOLLARS.  That did not include the OB’s charge of $650.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Anderson.  That’s the contracted amount between our company and the providers.  There’s nothing you can do about it.”

There’s nothing I can do about it.

Humph.  I love a good game of Triple Dog Dare.

I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.

Come October, when my baby’s due, I’m having a home birth.  My first in eight pregnancies.  Not only will I get to have the lights dimmed and no IV stuck in my hand (a real bummer when you’re on your hands and knees laboring), but I’ll get to stay in the tub until the baby is born.  That’s an awesome thing when you have back labor every time.  I won’t have to be strapped to the table and monitored every hour, and I won’t be made to feel I’m some weirdo with three heads when I say I do this naturally and this is my eighth, thank you very much.

And there will be one…1… ONE bill at the end of it all.  (God willing everything goes well and healthy, of course.)

And just in case it’s a boy, my homebirth midwife knows a good rabbi who will circumcise (even if we are Christian!) for a fraction of the price we paid last time.

We have 30 days after the baby is due to make another change, too.  This “major life event” gives us an out to our “great” insurance.  We have been in touch with MediShare, a Christian health sharing group.  My brother and his family have been using it for over a year now, and have nothing but good things to say about it.  So we are going to give it a whirl.  If you are members of something similar, I would love to hear your feedback, especially if you have a large family.

The hospital is going to lose our money.

The insurance company is going to lose our money.

We all need to take charge of our health immediately.  We have been blessed as a family to be in generally great health, but sustaining that is going to be essential as we move forward through these “labor pains” that is our health care system in America today.  Not that we are the poster family for healthy eating, but comparatively I think we eat very well.  Our kids get lots of exercise outside, and we keep t.v. and video games to a minimum.  We are all going to need make sacrifices, especially in how we eat, to keep ourselves and our family out of the doctor’s office.

Muffin Mania!

I like muffins.  They’re easily made, easily transportable, 

easy to slide to a toddler or preschooler mid-morning when breakfast has worn off.  

I like to think I’ve made enough to put in the freezer for another morning, 

but they never seem to last that long. 

(I haven’t figured out if this is a compliment to my culinary abilities 

or a testament to my lack of planning ahead.)  

With summer coming up, I have two great muffin recipes 

that I like to use with our prolific summer fare: zucchini and blueberries.

A muffin tip in case you don’t know:  

mix your wet stuff in one bowl, your dry stuff in another.  

When you combine them, just do so until they’re combined – then STOP!  

It will make for a much fluffier muffin that doesn’t have that tough outer edge.

Adjust these recipes as you see fit.

Super Duper Zucchini Muffins

Makes 12 muffins.

(but doubling is easy, because you KNOW you have enough zucchini!!)

Ingredients:

2 ¼ c. all-purpose flour

1 c. white sugar

2 ½ tsp. baking powder

½ tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1 tsp. ground nutmeg

½ tsp. salt

½ c. shortening

¼ c. sour milk

2 eggs, lightly beaten

1 ½ c. shredded zucchini

1 tsp. vanilla extract

¼ c. brown sugar

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large bowl combine flour and sugar.  Stir in baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt.  Cut in shortening until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.  Make a well in the center, and pour in milk, eggs, zucchini & vanilla.  Fill muffin cups.  Sprinkle tops with brown sugar.  Cook 15-20 minutes.

Health Nut Blueberry Muffins

Makes 24 servings.

Ingredients:

1 ½ c. all purpose flour

1 ½ c. whole wheat flour

1 ½ c. sugar

½ c. oat bran (just grind up some oatmeal in your blender if you don’t have this)

½ c. oats

½ c. wheat germ

2 tsp. baking powder

2 tsp. baking soda

½ tsp. salt

2 c. blueberries

1 c. chopped nuts (optional)

2 bananas, mashed

2 c. buttermilk

2 eggs

2 Tbsp. oil

2 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In large bowl, stir together flours, sugar, oat bran, oats, wheat germ, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.  Gently stir in the blueberries and nuts.  In a separate bowl, mix together the mashed bananas, buttermilk, egg, oil and vanilla.  Pour wet ingredients into the dry and mix just until blended.  Spoon into muffin cups.  Bake for 15-18 minutes or until tops of muffins spring back when gently touched.

Satan, the author of fear

Satan is the author of fear.
It is so simple a line. So rife with substance and implications.

I feel fear often, but I wouldn't call myself a worrier.   When I reflect on why God has blessed me with a healthy dose of confidence (definitely over-healthy at times - just ask my siblings, friends, husband, parents, etc.), I honestly have to stop at the "blessing" part.  I have never faced significant tragedy in my life.  My parents love me and are still together and will be together till death.  I have a husband who is faithful, children who are happy and relatively healthy.  I live in a house with acreage and the most beautiful backyard you’ve ever seen!  He has blessed me so profusely, I feel like an ungrateful WRETCH just thinking about being fearful.

Could this confidence in “Be Not Afraid!” be learned somehow?  Have I just developed a habit over the years of looking at the good side of things and being the eternal optimist (which can be just as annoying as the whining pessimist, I’ve been told.)?  I can remember in high school writing a research paper on the physical benefits of being an optimist, so maybe I have always been this way.  In all my optimism, I imagine someone could learn how to think more positively with “just a little practice!”  I know that is not realistic, though.  I also know that life experiences that are not as positive as mine have been, can shape and mold a person in ways that are seemingly too difficult to overcome.

But even with all this “flowers and sunshine” in my pocket, in my human frailty, I, too, succumb to fear.
 “Will everyone – ok, the majority – like what I cooked for dinner?”
“Will I be able to survive the summer pregnant, in my 40’s, with 7 other children who want to go swimming and camping?”
“Will I endure labor and delivery again?”
“Will our baby be as healthy as the others?”
“What am I going to do for school next year when I’m huge and tired in September and then a newborn in October?”
“It would be smart to put some meals in the freezer…who has time for THAT??”

SO…even if I can’t TEACH you how to be unfearful, I can reassure you that when these feelings of despair creep into my head, heart and life, I have refused – REFUSED – to allow them to make me scared.  Not even Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton as president scares me because He has won!!  The idea of either of them sitting in the Oval Office makes a chill run down my spine, no doubt, but what will come, will come.

Also, just the fact that I know…Know…KNOW that Satan WANTS me to be afraid, brings out that girl who wags her finger in the air and says “Oh, no you DON’T!!”

I give thanks for the saints out there I know who are praying for me.  God bless my angel.  I turn to Mother Mary for strength to endure, and I know…Know…KNOW my Jesus has taken care of it all.

Peace be with you all.

Monday Meme: The End-of-Year Burnout

Well, here we are again, at the end of a school year. Or at least we're supposed to be. We hear our "real" teacher friends talk about how crazy the kids are at school and how great it will be to spend some down time with their kids.  The posts on Facebook are hilarious - train wreck memes, the video with the guy bumping and falling his way down a slide, funny hairy dogs (see above).

I feel their pain. I'm ready to be done, too.

BUT...I wonder...would I feel this way if there wasn't an end to the public school year? What if they went all year round and no one really got used to that feeling of "Whew, it's finally over!"  One of my reasons for homeschooling is that my children would understand that life is about ALWAYS being educated, not taking your brain out for a break all summer.

Last summer was the first time since we've started homeschooling eight years ago that we took the summer off. I'm not going to lie to you. It was niiiice (say that with a good Southern drawl).  We live in Georgia, so the weather was ripe for swimming, hanging out with friends, and just enjoying life. I wasn't nursing, I wasn't pregnant, and we needed a break.

This year we are not going to have such luxuries. It will be a toned down version of school, but my people are going to have to finish up essential subjects. My oldest is trying out public high school in the fall, and I don't know who's freaking out more, him or me (ok, it's me).  We have to get that pre-algebra book done!!  Then, we're welcoming Baby #8 mid-October, so we'll just get started up enough in August to maybe ride a wave of school routine through till Thanksgiving.

I've been through October babies before...it wasn't pretty for the school year.

Anyhow, back on topic.

I can not afford to indulge in "Woe is me, I'm tired of this school year."  Between babies and Life, I must keep this Education Ship always chugging along.  It's freeing in many ways. I'm a slave to no one's calendar.  God has graced me with a husband/principal who has a personality that makes this sanguine girl understand she has to stay on task as much as she can. We have done pretty well, I think.

As much as I want to feel "burnt out", I honestly don't. I want my kids to learn- All. The. Time.